FADE IN:
ESTABLISHING SHOTS:
- Sloping Oxfordshire hills.
- Green, lush, woodland.
- Narrow, winding, country lane.
We follow the road until we reach a THATCHED COTTAGE. Here
we meet ADRIAN PEARSON (29), bicycle helmet firmly fastened
under his chin, completing the last of his deliveries.
He jumps on his butcher's bicycle and pushes off. We follow.
EXT. VILLAGE STREET - DAY
Adrian rides along the street towards a LARGE HOUSE. A TRUCK
is parked outside narrowing the road even further.
Adrian passes the truck and tries to get a good look at the
front garden.
CATHERINE GREENWAY, her father FRED and her finance MARK
LONG, organise the removal of tables from the van to the rear
garden. Fred tries to help with the unloading but Catherine
intervenes.
Catherine spots Adrian. She waves.
He waves back. Adrian's eyes linger a little too long on
Catherine and he nearly rides his bike into a hedge, only
regaining control at the last second.
EXT. VILLAGE GREEN - DAY
Adrian arrives at the village green making his way around it
towards a row of shops on the far side.
He passes MANNIE (30) in his wheelchair. Mannie waves and
Adrian returns it.
INT. BUTCHERS'S SHOP - DAY
PAUL PEARSON (52) is serving one of his regulars, MRS. BEAGLE
(60's).
MRS. BEAGLE
A half a dozen of your pork and cider
sausages.
Paul counts the sausages off.
MRS. BEAGLE (cont'd)
And May told me that they're planning
to release white doves as they exit
the church. I mean, white doves -
really!
PAUL
Anything else?
MRS. BEAGLE
One of your smallest horse-shoe
gammons. And have you seen the
marquee for the reception? It's like
a circus tent...
Paul holds up a gammon for inspection.
PAUL
Is this okay?
MRS. BEAGLE
That'll be fine. When I married my
Roy all we had were a few people back
for drinks and sandwiches at
Mother's. Young people these days
want it all. It must be costing her
poor father an absolute fortune.
Adrian and bicycle enter the shop.
ADRIAN
Hello, Mrs. Beagle.
MRS. BEAGLE
Hello, Adrian. I was just saying to
your father this wedding must be
costing Fred Greenway a small
fortune.
Adrian wheels his bike behind the counter.
ADRIAN
They were just unloading tables when
I went past.
MRS. BEAGLE
I hope Fred doesn't put his back out
again. It wouldn't do to have him
hobbling down the aisle to give
Catherine away.
ADRIAN
Catherine had the situation well in
hand.
(to Paul)
I'm off. I'll see you at home later.
MRS. BEAGLE
Early day?
ADRIAN
Just preparing for tonight.
MRS. BEAGLE
Tonight? Oh, are your brothers
coming home for the wedding?
ADRIAN
Yes, and they'll all want feeding.
MRS. BEAGLE
Well give them my love, won't you?
ADRIAN
I will.
MRS. BEAGLE
It must be a little awkward for you.
If things had been a little different
it could have been you marrying
Catherine tomorrow.
ADRIAN
(embarrassed)
No... not at all. I'm happy for her.
MRS. BEAGLE
Still, it was nice of her to invite
you.
ADRIAN
Bye, Mrs. Beagle
Adrian exits the rear door.
MRS. BEAGLE
A shame, such a nice considerate boy
like that left on the shelf.
PAUL
Anything else?
CUT TO:
INT. BUTCHERS'S SHOP, REAR - CONTINUOUS
Adrian is leant against the door frame. Mrs. Beagle's
comment has cut him to the bone.
INT/EXT. CHRIS'S CAR - DAY
CHRIS PEARSON (34) and his wife JANE (28) sit in stoney
silence.
Jane reaches for her mobile , Chris snatches it from her.
CHRIS
(irritated)
Leave it!
JANE
I wasn't...
(beat)
Just promise me you'll ask him
tonight, preferably before he starts
drinking?
CHRIS
I'll talk to him at some point.
JANE
You know what Richard's --
CHRIS
(interrupting)
I said I'll talk to him, okay?
JANE
Chris, don't be like this. We have
to. You know we do.
CHRIS
It doesn't have to be tonight, so
just --
BANG!
Chris and Jane flinch.
Adrian lifts his hand from the car's bonnet and waves
apologetically at them. Chris exits, closely followed by
Jane, and embraces his brother.
ADRIAN
Sorry.
(off Chris's look)
You okay?
CHRIS
You just scared me a little, that's
all. For a moment there I thought
someone had driven into the car.
Chris checks to see if there's any damage to his bonnet.
It's Jane's turn to embrace Adrian.
ADRIAN
Good to see you.
JANE
And you.
ADRIAN
Right, who's for a cup of tea?
INT/EXT. RICHARD'S CAR/VILLAGE STREETS - DAY
The CONVERTIBLE AUDI TT, top down, RAP music blaring from the
stereo, roars down the street.
RICHARD PEARSON (31), arrogant as he is handsome, taps his
steering wheel to the beat.
He brings his car to a screeching halt behind Chris's.
INT. PEARSON HOME, LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM - DAY
Adrian opens the front door. Richard throws his bag into his
arms before he can react.
RICHARD
Honey, I'm home.
Richard intercepts Jane as she exits the kitchen and hugs her
a little too familiarly, kissing her neck as he does.
RICHARD (cont'd)
You look good, baby.
JANE
Richard.
RICHARD
Where's that useless husband of
yours?
On cue Chris enters the room with a can of beer.
Richard snatches the can from him.
RICHARD (cont'd)
Cheers!
Chris returns to the kitchen for another. Jane follows.
INT. PEARSON HOME, KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
JANE
Take Richard into the garden and ask
him, now.
CHRIS
Later.
JANE
Do it now, before the others get
here.
CHRIS
(snapping)
For the last time drop it and let me
enjoy the wedding.
JANE
Chris?
CHRIS
I said later.
Chris exits to the living room.
INT. PEARSON HOME, LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Chris stumbles over Richard's bag on the floor.
RICHARD
Watch yourself there, Chrissy boy.
(to Adrian)
Still can't handle his beer I see.
ADRIAN
The price of responsibility.
RICHARD
That's why I try and avoid it.
Richard drains his can.
RICHARD (cont'd)
(shouting)
Jane baby, chuck us another can.
(to Adrian)
So where's the runt?
ADRIAN
He'll be along later.
RICHARD
Who's he shagging these days?
ADRIAN
He's still seeing Sarah if that's
what you mean.
RICHARD
The same girl as last time? I
obviously haven't taught him
anything.
ADRIAN
They're living together now. They
moved into a flat above the
supermarket.
RICHARD
Living together....? Andy the little
homemaker. Never saw that coming.
ADRIAN
I think he was looking for some
independence. He's happy enough.
Jane enters, shoots a look at Chris, thrusts a can in
Richard's face and storms out again.
RICHARD
What's up with her?
CHRIS
(playing ignorant)
No idea.
RICHARD
So are we going to get wasted
tonight, or what?
INT/INT. THE BULL & GATE/ ANDY & SARAH'S FLAT - DAY
ANDY PEARSON (24) pays for his pint as his mobile rings.
ANDY
(on phone)
Hello.
SARAH
(on phone)
Hi, where are you?
ANDY
In the Bull.
SARAH
It's a bit early.
ANDY
I only stopped in for a quick one.
What do you want?
SARAH
Can you come back before you go
around to your dad's?
ANDY
What now?
SARAH
(barely containing her
excitement)
Please, it's important?
ANDY
Can I finish my pint first?
SARAH
Yes... but hurry up, baby.
Andy hangs up and downs his pint in one.
INT. PEARSON HOME, LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM - DAY
Richard and Chris are still drinking on the sofa, as Jane and
Adrian set the table for dinner.
Paul enters.
RICHARD
Hey, Pops.
Gives him a hug.
PAUL
Is that your flash car out front?
RICHARD
You want to try her out?
PAUL
No, way too fast for me. I just wish
you'd park it around the back. My
customers will start to think I'm
charging them too much.
Phone rings.
RICHARD
I'll get it.
Picks it up.
RICHARD (cont'd)
Castle Pearson?
INT/EXT. PEARSON HOME, LIVING ROOM/STREET - DAY
ANDY
(on phone)
Rich?
RICHARD
(on phone)
Hey, it's the runt.
ANDY
Can you let the others know I'm going
to be a little late.
RICHARD
Getting a quick one in before coming
over, eh?
ANDY
Unlike you I don't have any trouble
getting any.
RICHARD
There will never be a day when you
get more than me, you're too ugly for
starters.
ANDY
It's size that matters and you don't
stand a chance. I'll see you when
I'm done.
RICHARD
See you in three minutes then.
INT. ANDY & SARAH'S FLAT, LIVING ROOM - DAY
Andy and Sarah on the sofa, kissing. She struggles to escape
his octopus grasp.
SARAH
Stop, I've got something to tell you.
ANDY
Can't it wait?
Sarah fights him off.
SARAH
Andy, please?
ANDY
What?
SARAH
(grinning)
I'm pregnant.
ANDY
Pregnant!?
SARAH
Yeah.
ANDY
Pregnant?
SARAH
I believe that's what I said.
ANDY
But you're on the pill.
SARAH
Yes.
ANDY
But... Did you miss one or
something?
SARAH
Andy, the pill isn't a one hundred
percent guarantee.
ANDY
(horrified)
It's not?
(beat)
Are you sure, I mean you could be
wrong, couldn't you?
SARAH
I went to the doctors this morning.
ANDY
You can't be.
SARAH
Women get pregnant every day, Andy,
it's not a rare occurrence.
ANDY
But...
SARAH
You had better get going, you're
going to be late.
She kisses him. Andy, in a daze, walks to the door.
SARAH (cont'd)
Andy?
Andy stops.
SARAH (cont'd)
You're going to be a dad, enjoy it.
Andy exits.
INT. ADRIAN'S BEDROOM - DAY
Adrian is sat on his bed pouring over a letter.
CU: THE LETTER.
It's from London University accepting Adrian as a mature
student on a business degree course.
Richard enters carrying his bag. Adrian hastily stuffs the
letter into his back pocket. Richard notices.
RICHARD
What's that?
ADRIAN
Just an invoice for the shop.
Richard opens his flip-phone and presses speed-dial.
RICHARD
Did that mail order bride company
turn you down again?
ADRIAN
You're not in the least bit funny.
RICHARD
And don't get your hopes up about any
of the bridesmaids tomorrow, I've got
them all marked.
ADRIAN
Grow up.
Adrian exits.
Richard chuckles. His phone connects.
INT. PEARSON HOME, LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM -DAY
The Family, including Jane, are crowded around the dining
table enjoying a meal.
ADRIAN
(to Richard)
I did not!
RICHARD
Head down the bowl, "Where's my
daddy? I love my daddy!"
ADRIAN
Dad?
PAUL
Sorry, but you did. Your mother
wasn't too happy about it, especially
as she had to clean the stains out of
the carpet. I thought it was bloody
funny though.
ADRIAN
(cringing)
Was I really that bad?
RICHARD
And then there was Andy lad.
ADRIAN
Oh yeah, I remember. God knows what
you drank, but the bedroom carpet was
a lovely shade of green after that
night.
Laughter.
ADRIAN (cont'd)
It wouldn't vanish even after mum
scrubbed it thread bare.
(beat)
Seemed she was always cleaning up
after our nights out.
The table goes quiet. Adrian raises his glass.
ADRIAN (cont'd)
To Mum, an angel among women.
ALL
To Mum.
Beat.
PAUL
So how's the fish business, Chris?
Chris flashes Jane a silencing look.
RICHARD
Sorted yourself out a decent
sexretary yet?
CHRIS
Actually, Jane has joined the
business full time.
RICHARD
(mock anguish)
No, no, no, Chris! Never invite the
little lady to work with you she'll
be able to keep her beady little eyes
on you twenty-four-seven.
Jane shifts uncomfortably.
JANE
Helps to keep the costs down, you
know.
CHRIS
(to Paul)
It was a little hard getting up and
running at first, but things have
settled down now.
Chris avoids eye contact with Jane.
RICHARD
And there was me thinking you'd balls
it up.
CHRIS
Anyway, shouldn't we be talking about
the wedding? That's what we're here
for after all.
RICHARD
Free food, booze and bridesmaids.
ADRIAN
Is that all you ever think about?
RICHARD
I can't help it if I have healthy
appetites.
JANE
And we all know about your healthy
appetites, don't we.
Chris shoots her a look.
RICHARD
You have a problem with my excesses?
ADRIAN
Not if you keep them to yourself.
RICHARD
What's the point of having excesses
if you can't share them?
(to Jane)
You just let me know when you get fed
up with your loser of a husband.
Richard is now the recipient of Chris glare.
ADRIAN
As long as you remember it's a
celebration for Catherine and not for
you.
RICHARD
Sorry, Mum, I'll try and remember
that. Have you seen Mannie lately?
I've been phoning him but I just keep
getting his voice mail.
ADRIAN
(evasive)
I've seen him, he's doing fine.
Richard pulls out his mobile and dials.
RICHARD
I'll try him again.
ADRIAN
I'd leave it, he's probably having
his dinner now. Besides he'll be
there tomorrow.
RICHARD
Can't have him not coming out
tonight.
ADRIAN
Are you alright, Andy? You're a
little quiet there?
RICHARD
Probably tired out, poor lad.
Obviously can't keep up with that
little minx he's got stashed away.
CHRIS
How is.., Sarah is it?
ANDY
She's OK.
RICHARD
Little goer is she?
ANDY
More than you could handle.
RICHARD
I doubt that. Frankly I'm surprised
you could find anyone to put up with
your ugly arse. Maybe I should give
the lass a call and offer my
services.
ANDY
(getting shitty)
If she needs to swap make-up tips
I'll let you know. You're just
jealous I've got someone who wants to
be with me because all your women
dump you after one night.
RICHARD
But then I'm too good looking to tie
myself down to just one woman.
ANDY
Probably why your dick's rotting off.
PAUL
That's enough you two.
ANDY
Not that it'll make much difference
since it's so tiny.
PAUL
Andy, enough!
RICHARD
Touchy, touchy.
ANDY
I need a glass of water.
Andy exits to the kitchen.
Richard hangs up and puts his phone away.
RICHARD
Voice mail again.
Adrian exits after Andy.
EXT. PEARSON HOME, KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Andy is lent over the sink as Adrian enters.
ADRIAN
What's up?
ANDY
Nothing.
ADRIAN
Nothing, eh? Come on, what is it?
You've been quiet ever since you got
here.
ANDY
I've just got a bit on my mind,
that's all.
ADRIAN
Money problems.
ANDY
No. It's tight but nothing to worry
about.
Beat.
ANDY (cont'd)
Have you, you know, wanted anything
more out of life... more than what
you have at the moment.
ADRIAN
I don't think that there's a person
alive who hasn't at one point or
other.
ANDY
I mean, do you ever regret not
settling down with Catherine?
ADRIAN
Sometimes.
ANDY
Sorry, I didn't mean...
ADRIAN
Is that what this is about, moving in
with Sarah?
ANDY
I don't know if I'm...
Beat.
ADRIAN
Go on.
ANDY
I love her, I do, I really do, it's
just...
ADRIAN
It's only been a month, Andy.
ANDY
I know.
ADRIAN
Give it another month and if you
still feel the same look at your
options again.
ANDY
Never mind, it doesn't matter.
ADRIAN
It obviously does to you.
ANDY
It's nothing, really! I'm just being
an idiot.
ADRIAN
Women tend to have that effect on us
men. Well if you want to talk about
nothing sometime, just let me know
and we can talk about it over a cup
of tea.
Adrian exits.
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